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| Pilot |
| HERE COME THE MONKEES - Original 1965 Pilot |
Black and white segments of screen tests featuring Michael Nesmith and David Jones from October 1965 are shown, which, as Robert Rafelson describes in a voiceover, are "spontaneous and unrehearsed." At the end of these interviews, Rafelson says, "Well, those are some of The Monkees. And you never know when they'll turn up next." The Monkees—David, Michael, Peter and Micky—are four talented musicians, who, one night, stage a mock assault on David and scaring away Lionel B. Turner, a doctor, during a TV interview. The good Doctor helps a little old lady across the street and is charged $.15 for his kindness. The next day, Micky, at one end of the sidewalk is seen struggling with a high stack of drum cases, precariously balancing one on top of the other. At the other end is Michael, riding on his motorized skateboard, taking a paper from a newsstand. They collide, causing Micky's cases to topple. Emerging from a nearby manhole is Peter, who applauds their hilarious pratfall. Joined by David, the four Monkees are then seen finishing their theme song. Later, at Rudy's Record Rack, The Monkees' manager, Rudy Gunther, a 45 year-old ex-Marine Sergeant who's the record store's proprietor, sends them to the Riverdale Country Club, where his old Marine buddy Charles Russell is auditioning bands for a Sweet Sixteen Party he is giving his daughter, Vanessa. When the boys arrive, Mr. Russell and Vanessa are sedately dancing to the square melodies of Sven Helstrom and his Swedish Rhythm Kings. During The Monkees audition—a rocking version of "I Wanna Be Free"—David's eyes meet Vanessa's and they fall in love, fantasizing about fun in the Kiddieland amusement park. The Monkees are hired, but Vanessa becomes so involved with David that she negelects her schoolwork and flunks history. At the beach, Jill Gunther, Rudy's 16 year-old daughter and Vanessa's friend, explains to the boys that Vanessa will get a makeup final, but they are in danger of losing a job if she flunks it, too—and that her admirations for David is the reason for her failure to concentrate on her schoolwork. Feeling responsible, David takes leave of the group to sadly take a stroll down the beach, to a much slower tune of "I Wanna Be Free." In a fantasy sequence as lawyers in a board meeting, the boys select David to help Vanessa pass her final. Having disguised themselves as deliverymen, The Monkees smuggle Vanessa out of the house and improvise a unique history course in which they dramatize historical events in music, resulting in her passing a makeup exam. However, Mr. Russell still orders The Monkees to be barred from the dance and a guard chases them away, while Sven Helstrom and his Swedish Rhythm Kings perform. When Russell learns The Monkees helped Vanessa pass her history test, he leads a wild but successful chase from the front lawn to the gameroom to get them back. When the guard finally corners the boys in the ballroom, Mr. Russell tells him they are invited. The guard bellows,"You've sold out, sir! Your country club, and yourself!!!" and storms off. Michael gets the Swedish Rhythm Kings off the bandstand by announcing that "Norway has just declared war on Sweden, and all the Swedish nationals are to report to their embassy." The Kings, patriotic beings they are, march off, and The Monkees get the joint jumping with "Let's Dance On." During the number, the partygoers are joined by a drunk from the bar, Dr. Turner and the old lady. From the bandstand, David sees another girl, and again sparks fly; afraid that David's new passion may cost them their first job, Micky, Michael and Peter, brandishing balloons as weapons, madly dash after David. |
b: UNAIRED pc: 4091 w: Paul Mazursky and Larry Tucker d: Mike Elliot |
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| Season 1 |
| 1. The Royal Flush |
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After saving Princess Bettina, the Duchess of Harmonica from drowning, Davy realizes her archduke uncle Otto and his aide, Sigmund, plan to kill the Princess and take over her country. With Mike, Micky and Peter, Davy checks into a suite next to the Royal Suite at The Ritz Swank hotel. Impressing the chambermaid, Mike, masquerading as building inspector W.H. Woolhat, advises her to work hard, play hard, and get plenty of roughage in her diet in that she may own the hotel someday. He also tells her to buy International Steel at 28 1/2, as a tip. Posing as salesmen for a line of thrones and royalty supplies, Mike, Micky and Peter lure Otto and Sigmund into their suite, while Davy convinces Bettina of her uncle's wretched plan. Told her uncle, as region, controls everything until she becomes queen upon her 18th birthday tomorrow, when there will be a ball which will mark her accession to her throne, Davy decides to keep her out of circulation until midnight, and he escapes with her. After the departure of The Monkees and Bettina, Otto realizes he has been tricked by "those throne merchants," and starts Sigmund on a mad pursuit of Bettina and her rescuers. On the beach, Bettina expresses to Davy her lament over the many responsibilities for the welfare of all her people. He declines her offer to visit her country for her coronation, because "what I have to do is here with the guys and our music." While they romance, Micky and Peter keep Sigmund busy chasing them all over the beach to the tune of "This Just Doesn't Seem to Be My Day," finally resulting in Sig falling into a deep hole dug by Peter. Sig finally discovers Bettina and The Monkees at their beach pad, and informs his boss by phone. Inside, the four have fastened a safe to a rope and suspends it over an "X" on the floor, for the villains to stand on and be clunked unconscious by the safe when the rope is cut. But the rope refuses to do so when the villains arrive. Confronted by Bettina, Otto finally admits he plans to kill his niece that night before her birthday ball. Davy reports that Bettina has sent a message to her embassy in a sealed envelope, informing them of her uncle's evil scheme, but Otto nevertheless temporarily postpones his plans. Leaving The Monkees as hostages with Sigmund (as insurance that the princess won't talk), Otto forces Bettina to accompany him to the ball. After the boys' attempt to jar the rope into fraying by jumping up and down fails, Davy reads "Snow White" to Sig as a diversion while Mike, Micky and Peter sneaks up behind him and tie him down. But the callous chauffeur breaks loose from his bind and pops up at the front door, blocking the boys' escape. Just as he is about to pounce upon the boys, the rope holding the safe finally frays and Sig is knocked unconscious, permitting The Monkees to narrowly escape to The Ritz Swank hotel. There Davy challenges Otto in a duel and the other Monkees overpower Sigmund, as "Take A Giant Step" pervades the soundtrack. Davy loses his sword in the duel, and before Otto can run him through, midnight arrives and Bettina, becoming queen, orders Otto arrested. Later The Monkees are ordered out of their hotel room by the chambermaid. She reveals she has become the boss by buying the hotel with the money she made on Mike's stock tip! |
b: 12-Sep-1966 pc: 4701 w: Robert Schlitt and Peter Meyerson d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "This Just Doesn't Seem to be My Day" and "Take a Giant Step." James Frawley won a Emmy for "Outstanding Directional Achievement in Comedy." The series itself won "Outstanding Comedy Series" for this season. |
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| 2. Monkee See, Monkee Die |
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The Monkees murder murder mysteries in this half-hour free-for-all. Behind in their rent and fearing eviction from their landlord, The Monkees don disguises to fool his lawyer, McQuinney—until he informs the boys that they have been left in a legacy by the late John Cunningham, an eccentric millionaire. They leave for Cunningham's mansion on a small fog-shrouded island where they meet Ralph, the butler, Madame Roselle, a spiritualist medium, Harris Kingsley, an author of unusable travel books, and Ellie Reynolds, Cunningham's grandniece, whom Davy falls for. In Cunningham's legacy—recorded on a phonograph record—The Monkees learn they have inherited the library organ on condition they play one song on it, and they do: "Last Train To Clarksville." Ralph, Kingsley and Mme. Roselle are furious on finding they have inherited nothing, with the bulk of the estate going to Ellie on condition she spends one night there. Soon after Mme. Roselle predicts Ralph will die, shots are heard, and he disappears! Roselle predicts there is only evil in the mansion for Ellie. Following another prophecy of the medium, more shots are heard, and Kingsley vanishes; and all The Monkees' wild efforts to get help from the mainland miserably fail. Mme. Roselle suggests holding a séance to learn the identity of the murderer. The Monkees, Ellie and the medium all clasp hands but the lights go out and Mme. Roselle disappears. Although guarded by Davy and the guys, Ellie resolves to leave as soon as possible. They find neither romping nor singing "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day" can overcome their moroseness, until they hear sinister laughter. Micky, Mike and Davy then discover the medium, the butler and the author toasting their success in having scared off Ellie. Dressed in a suit of armor, Davy puts Micky's knockout drops in the conspirators' wine decanter. Everything works fine until Peter's voice gives everything away, and the conspirators all emerge from the study, each armed with a gun. Peter pretends to shoot them with his finger, but they have really collapsed from the drugged wine. Having explained their story to the police, The Monkees and Ellie resolve to leave, until they see Kingsley, having regained consciousness, offering the policeman a line of his unusable travel books. |
b: 19-Sep-1966 pc: 4705 w: Treva Silverman d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Last Train to Clarksville" and "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day." A May 1, 1967 repeat of "Monkee See, Monkee Die" featured a new song: "A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You." |
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| 3. Monkee vs. Machine |
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To raise rent money, Peter applies for a job in a toy company which uses computers, but throws a monkee wrench in the works by flunking an aptitude test given to him by DJ61, a computerized machine. Mike swings to the rescue and, reversing the procedure, he asks the machine questions. When he stumps the machine, it explodes and Daggart, the company's headstrong efficiency expert, hires him. He introduces Mike to the president, J.B. Guggins, Jr., son of the company's late founder. Daggart scoffs at the traditional techniques of his boss and criticizes him for inheriting the firm and lacking ambition and leadership. Mike is downcast upon learning that Pop Harper, an elderly toy designer who has developed a new toy that can assume any shape, is being replaced by Daggart's computers. Trying to cheer up Mike, The Monkees sing "Saturdays Child" and engage in a musical romp in a playground with children. Learning the company is testing new toys created by computers; Davy, Micky, and Peter arrive before a panel of parents and their children, in various disguises as toy testing tykes and their moms. All tyke-disguised Monkees take great delight in kicking Daggart in the shins and continuously making a shambles of his toy tests designed to show the product's attention span, durability, and ease of assembly. After watching the self-annihilation of his precious samples, Daggart is reduced to covering up by explaining to Guggins that it's advantageous for the toys to quickly break, because their parents will have to buy new ones and to triple their salesE#034;planned obsolescence," he calls it!—thus throwing a monkee wrench into Mike's plan. Mike intervenes and tells Guggins that his toys lack a very important part of toy building which no computer can create as well as Pop Harper: happiness. When he brings in Harper to show Guggins his new toy, Daggart discovers the deception planned by Mike and later fires Mike and Harper. At their pad, Micky and Mike try to throw the toy away, but it keeps reappearing. Mike finds that Pop's toy returns no matter how it is thrown. At the factory, Guggins, shown Pop's invention, is impressed and finally asserts himself, firing Daggart and his computer and rehiring Pop as the company's general manager. Then Guggins presents the boys with another computer, DJ69, which would help them out with their careers and bring in a little extra rent money. In a romp to "Last Train to Clarksville," DJ69 offers them every type of job from construction worker to fireman, none of which appeal to the boys' likings! |
b: 26-Sep-1966 pc: 4700 w: David Panich d: Robert Rafelson |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Saturdays Child" and "Last Train to Clarksville." A repeat of this episode on May 22, 1967 (which coincided with the release of The Monkees Headquarters [#COM/COS-103]) added a new song: "You Told Me," and when it appeared during the CBS Saturday Afternoon run, it was updated again, to include Michael Nesmith's "Listen To The Band." |
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| 4. Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers |
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The Monkees and The Four Swines reach the finals in a recording contest, whereupon, in an incident instigated by The Swines and their manager, Nick Trump, The Monkees' performance is interrupted by a rendition of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Trump tells The Monkees that, because the judges dug Beethoven, they have made the finals and he will get publicity for them. His first stunt goes wrong when girls assigned to rip off Davy's clothes at the Vincent Van Gogh-Gogh Discotheque proceed to do the job on Lester Crabtree, a stodgy businessman. His second stunt goes awry when cement The Monkees put their hands in front of The Chinese Theater (on whose marquis The Monkees are listed as The Machie: Dourantse, Dork, Juhans and Nazemize!) happens to be quick-drying, and they become stuck, only to be released by the blow of Trump's sledgehammer. Then Trump arranges for The Monkees to be kidnapped by two hoods, Horace and George, assuring the kidnapping will make the front pages. Horace and George go to the boys' pad where they bind and gag Micky, Mike and Peter—and Mr. Schneider, their pet dummy! Then George goes to the Vincent Van Gogh-Gogh Discotheque to kidnap Davy; when Nancy, Davy's girlfriend, and the other dancers hear that Davy's going home to be kidnapped, they insist on being included. Davy consents, and the mob winds up in the boys' pad, moving and grooving to the tunes of "Let's Dance On" and "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone." While George attempts to tie everyone up, Horace contacts Trump on the phone, demanding extra pay for the job. Unwilling to write 40 ransom notes, Horace and George decide to dump the party patrons. Davy comes up with an idea to stop the party by switching the jukebox from "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" to a clarinet rendition of the tune "Pennies from Heaven" (Johnny Burke-Arthur Johnston)—a tune to which the party goers take with such distaste, that they immediately file out of the pad in less than a minute! Trump tells Horace and George to make sure The Monkees don't escape, while he goes to the studio to see that his clients, The Four Swines win the contest Eand The Monkees finally realize that they've been lured into being sabotaged. After attempts to escape with throwing Peter out of the window to attract passersby, climbing down Peter's bed sheets, and use of a roll of pennies as brass knuckles to smash through the door fail, Micky, incognito as a mad scientist, convinces George and Horace that he is holding a bottle of nitroglycerin. The Monkees escape and, in a wild but successful chase to elude the hoods set to "Last Train to Clarksville," arrive at the studio. Trump and The Swines are arrested, but Lester Crabtree and The Three Crabs are declared the winners. When a group of teenagers tear Lester's clothes off, The Monkees, deciding all it takes to be a star is to have all your clothes ripped off, repeat the procedure on each other. |
b: 03-Oct-1966 pc: 4703 w: Dave Evans d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Let's Dance On," "Last Train to Clarksville" and "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone." "A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You" and "The Girl I Knew Somewhere" replaced the old tunes for this episode's retelecast on May 15, 1967, and "Do You Feel It Too?" was dubbed into its soundtrack for its repeats on CBS Saturday. |
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| 5. The Spy Who Came in From the Cool |
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While top Central Intelligence Service (CIS) operative Honeywell, incognito as an ice cream vendor, witnesses and reports back to his chief via a popsicle-microphone, The Monkees debunk from their Monkeemobile and head for a nearby music store, because Davy wants a new set of maracas. Little do they suspect that the music store is a front for enemy spies, where enemy agent Madame Olinsky tapes microfilm into a pair of red maracas, but Boris, her sidekick, gets her instructions crossed and sells the maracas to Davy. The Madame and Boris, in disguise, catch up with The Monkees at a discotheque where they are playing "The Kind of Girl I Could Love." They demand for the film at gunpoint, but Mike introduces them as Honey and The Bear, famous folksingers. As they sing protest songs, which are booed by the audience, the Cool Quartet make their escape. Having seen a documented film report on all four boys, the CIS chief and Honeywell enlist the boys to help trap the enemy spies. Mike disapproves of this, but Micky tells him that there's nothing to it, since they've seen every spy movie, and The Monkees engage in a fantasy sequence as trainees in a spy school, under the tutelage of Micky. At the discotheque, Honeywell sets up a microphone over which he hopes to record the spies' confession. The spies return during The Monkees' performance of "I'm Not Your Stepping Stone"; after which, she presents a huge sum of $380 to the foursome in exchange for the film. They try to get the spies to confess for Honeywell's recording, but a series of accidents prevents this. When an angry, impatient Mme. Olinsky pulls a gun, Mike turns over a roll of film and starts a wild dance to the tune of "All the King's Horses." Honeywell enters as Madame Olinsky hits Mike with a karate chop, snatches the film, and escapes. The dancers, thinking something new has been added, begin using Karate on each other. Boris tries to escape, too, but is captured, and the wild dance ends with him on the floor with Mike holding his ear and the other Monkees on his back. At spy headquarters, Mme. Olinsky announces a showing of America's latest secret weapon. She is dismayed when the film turns out to be a sequence set to "Saturday's Child" of The Monkees in their maddest capering, and she is bound and gagged in return. |
b: 10-Oct-1966 pc: 4702 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso d: Robert Rafelson |
NOTE: Features the songs: "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone," "The Kind of Girl I Could Love," "Saturday's Child" and "All the King's Horses." Though "Last Train to Clarksville" was credited, it was never showcased in this segment. In any case, this episode was repeated on June 19, 1967 with "Randy Scouse Git" dubbed into its soundtrack. |
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| 6. The Success Story |
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Davy's friends express surprise when he tells them he's afraid to meet his grandfather who is arriving from England to visit that night. The reason becomes clear when Davy informs them he wrote his grandfather that he had become a wealthy star and fears being forced to return to England should he learn the truth. Determined to make Davy look like a millionaire, Micky, Mike and Peter collect uniforms and accessories, including a Rolls Royce, and by the time grandfather arrives, they prove that Davy has a chauffeur, a chef and a houseboy, respectively. During dinner, grandfather digs into a spaghetti supper, while Davy is stuck with a rubber meal, as the boys could afford only one serving. Grandfather is impressed by Davy's affluence until the owners of the uniforms and the Rolls Royce arrive to reclaim their property. Grandfather deplores the gross deception and adds that Davy must return to England with him. Mike is unable to convince grandfather that Davy posed as a success only to make him proud, while a crushed, crestfallen Davy takes a final stroll along the beach reminiscing the good times with his mates, over the tune of "I Wanna Be Free". Having bid farewell to Micky, Mike and Peter, Davy leaves with his grandfather to take a cab going to the airport. At the airport, Davy laments being separated from his mates, while there is not a dry eye amongst the remaining trio at the pad. However, Micky, Mike and Peter hatch a final plot to keep Davy home in America, and they race for the airport. There, disguised as airline personnel, the three do everything possible to stop grandfather from reaching the plane on time. Grandfather catches up with Davy and, seeing through Micky, Mike and Peter's disguises, he tells them he's happy Davy has such loyal friends, and that he feels he can leave him safely in their hands. Making sure he has a charming female companion, grandfather boards the plane for the trip back to England, and the boys celebrate by capering about on the lawn with senior citizens, singing "Sweet Young Thing". |
b: 17-Oct-1966 pc: 4710 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso and Bernie Orenstein d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "I Wanna Be Free" and "Sweet Young Thing." The May 29, 1967 repeat of "The Success Story" saw "Shades Of Grey" replacing "I Wanna Be Free." |
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| 7. The Monkees in a Ghost Town |
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The Monkees drive The Monkeemobile from Clarksville to a job out of town. Thanks to a navigational blunder made by Micky, the boys make an unnecessary 150-mile trek through a desert, thus causing The Monkeemobile to run out of gas in a ghost town. The Monkees split up in pairs to search for a gas station. Mike and Davy play a Western fantasy scene (Mike plays double roles: Black Bart and Slade, Davy is Kincaid); meanwhile, Micky and Peter encounter a rusty old triangle used to call cowboys to supper. Since Peter played a triangle in high school, he happily rings it with a hammer; the noise attracts two hoods, George and Lenny, awaiting the arrival of their chief, The Big Man (in the town jail, yet!), so they can take their cut and scram. The two find Mike and Davy, whom Lenny marches towards the town jail, while George searches in vain for the others, who are hiding in a stall just next door. Micky and Peter, disguised as gangsters The Big Man and Spider, respectively, try to overcome the hoods and rescue Mike and Davy, but they see through their disguise and put them in the cell with their mates. George warns them not to get out, as "there's nothin' around here but miles o'desert!" The Monkees imagine having fun by the beach and in the desert (dressed as Foreign Legionnaires!) over "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day". Micky hatches another plot to escape via tunneling out, and asks Lenny for his shovel and ball to play baseball. While covering up the sound of their digging by singing "Papa Gene's Blues", the quartet begin digging all sorts of escape tunnels to a jungle, a railroad track, an Egyptian Pyramid, and a baseball diamond (!), but Peter has only surfaced in the cell next door. When the real Big Man arrives, the crooks are surprised to find their leader is The Big Man's wife: Bessie Kowalski, The Big Woman! Although she fondly recalls her singing career 30 years on, she still orders for The Monkees' deaths! As their last request, Davy and Micky ask Bessie to sing one last number with them. She acquiesces, and during her renditions of "Ev'rybody Wants My Baby (But My Baby Don't Want Nobody But Me)" and "Hi Neighbor," Davy's attempts to phone for help fail. Then the quintet break into a rendition of the "(theme from) THE MONKEES," and George and Lenny are asked to join in. Before they perform, Davy gets hold of Lenny's gun, and a shootout ensues while Bessie still sings The Monkees' theme. A ricocheting gun knocks George's gun out of his hand, forcing him and Lenny to surrender. After the hoods are captured - Bessie announces that while she and the boys are in stir, they'll work up a new act as "Bessie & The Bullets" - a policeman hands Davy a ticket for the reward, then starts writing tickets for traffic violations! Mike gives the cop back the reward ticket to cover the fines, and they start on their way ("Well, that's show business!"). |
b: 24-Oct-1966 pc: 4704 w: Robert Schlitt and Peter Meyerson d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Papa Gene's Blues" and "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day". The latter tune was replaced by a newly woodshedded remake of Boyce & Hart's "Words" when NBC reran "The Monkees in a Ghost Town" on July 17, 1967. |
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| 8. Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth (a.k.a. Gift Horse) |
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While Davy attempts to flip at the beach, young Jonathan Fisher asks him to mind his black stallion, Jeremy. The boy suddenly runs away, leaving Davy no choice but to take the horse home. There, Peter serves Micky and Mike a dish of his own recipe: Cream of Root Beer. Micky breaks out into a werewolf routine that attracts their landlord, Babbitt, who hates animals, suspicious they are keeping a dog. Threatened they will lose their home if they defy Babbitt's rules against pets; they explain it was Micky's werewolf imitation. They successfully fool their landlord, until Mike sees Davy with Jeremy in the pad, and tensions mount even further. Micky again breaks out into his werewolf routine that again attracts their landlord, Babbitt—who this time spots the black stallion! Micky and Mike again allay his suspicions by telling him it's Davy and Peter in a horse costume for a masquerade party. After Babbitt leaves, they try to drag the horse outside, but he refuses to budge. While Davy rushes upstairs to fetch their horse costume in hopes of further deluding Babbitt, Peter manages to coax the stallion with a dish of his "soup," and the horse collapses from fatigue. Mike then contacts Dr. Mann, a confused veterinarian, who agrees to help aid the sick horse ("Sick?! I can probably help him! I'm a veterinarian!"). While Dr. Mann examines Peter and Davy in the horse suit, they hear knocking upon their door. Fearing it's their landlord who might see the vet and start asking him questions and get suspicious, Mike puts the confused doc in their closet and answers the door. It turns out to be their neighbor, Mrs. Purdy, who offers the boys cake—and faints upon seeing Jeremy chomping it. Mike shouts upstairs to Micky, who tosses a smoke bomb down from the balcony. Through the mist, the two—along with Dr. Mann—try to revive Ms. Purdy. Mike opens the door to clear the air—and finds Babbitt on the other side. Closing the door in his face, he tells Davy and Peter to don their costume; he reopens the door, and Babbitt storms in—and faints upon seeing the horse telling him "hello" (never mind that it's really Peter in disguise). The next morning, Davy learns from Jonathan that his father, Mr. Fisher, is determined to sell the horse, and The Monkees decide to help Jonathan keep his pet. They agree to work on Mr. Fisher's farm to pay for the horse, but, having no experience as farmhands, all goes poorly: Micky, Mike and Davy pitch hay and unintentionally bury Peter under a stack, and Micky, in demonstrating to Peter how to call hogs, emits a call that attracts chickens. In a musical romp set to "Papa Gene's Blues." their attempt to milk a cow has them emulating a matador routine - and ends with Mr. Fisher being drenched and firing them. The Monkees are about to leave when Jenkins, a neighbor, bets that his horse can outrun Jonathan's. The Monkees put up their electric guitar against his hundred dollars, and Davy, a former jockey, rides the black stallion to victory to the tune of "All the King's Horses". The Monkees use their winnings to insure that Jonathan will keep his pet. Later, Micky, Mike and Peter step in just in time to prevent Davy from minding another child's pet (a camel!) and finish their rendition of "Papa Gene's Blues." |
b: 31-Oct-1966 pc: 4708 w: Dave Evans d: Robert Rafelson |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Papa Gene's Blues" and "All the King's Men". The song "All the King's Men" was unreleased and both songs were written by Michael Nesmith. |
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| 9. The Chaperone |
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Davy falls for Leslie Vandenburg, daughter of retired general Harley Vandenburg, but, despite his disguises as a magazine subscription salesman and, with Micky, a bomb shelter inspector, can't get past her father. Cynthia, Leslie's friend, reports that Leslie is only allowed to attend only chaperoned parties. Over the phone, General Vandenburg agrees to allow Leslie to attend a Monkees party when Micky - disguised voice as Col. "Dodo" Dolenz - assures him a chaperone will be present. After the boys frantically decorate their pad to the tune of "This Just Doesn't Seem to Be My Day," a frantic search ensues for a suitable chaperone. They reject the services of their landlord, Mr. Babbitt, because of his over-expensive fees. The Monkees coach Mrs. Weefers, their cleaning woman (who comes to clean on the second Tuesday of every month with an 'R' in it!), for the role, but she spikes the punch and gets stone-cold drunk before the guests arrive and the party begins. In desperation, Micky, disguised as Mrs. Arcadian, acts as the chaperone. Completely charmed by "Mrs. Arcadian," the General spends the evening pursuing her, even during The Monkees performance of "Take a Giant Step," but becomes outraged on learning how he has been deceived and marches everyone out of the door. Everyone is stunned when the General announces the chaperone has consented to be his wife, until he whips off Micky's wig. He calms down when Leslie scolds him for being so uptight and Davy explains it was the only way he could be with Leslie. The next day, Leslie reports that her father doesn't require her to be chaperoned anymore, but, chased up a tree by Leslie's huge new dog, Davy finds this hard to believe! Peter tries to impress Mike and his lady friend with his impression of Tarzan swinging on a vine, but splashes in the public fountain. Orange sharkskin suit-clad Monkees finish the set by hamming it up in the fountain, and singing "You Just May Be the One" on the bandstand. |
b: 07-Nov-1966 pc: 4711 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso d: Bruce Kessler |
NOTE: Features the songs: "This Just Doesn't Seem to be My Day," "Take a Giant Step" and "You May Just Be the One." "The Chaperone" was planned for rebroadcast on August 7, 1967 with its soundtrack revised to include the The Monkees' Headquarters' remake of "You Just May Be The One" in the place of the original, but these plans never came to fruition. |
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| 10. The Monkees (a.k.a. Here Come the Monkees) |
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The Monkees—Davy, Mike, Peter and Micky—are four talented musicians, who open this segment by staging a mock assault on Davy and scaring away Lionel B. Turner, a doctor, during a TV interview. He helps a little old lady across the street and is charged $.15 for his kindness. The Monkees' manager, Rudy Gunther, a 45 year-old ex-Marine Sergeant who owns a record store, Rudy's Record Rack, sends them to the Riverdale Country Club, where his old Marine buddy Charles Russell is auditioning bands for a Sweet Sixteen Party he is giving his daughter, Vanessa. When the boys arrive, Mr. Russell and Vanessa are sedately dancing to the square melodies of Sven Helstrom and his Swedish Rhythm Kings. During The Monkees audition—a rocking version of "I Wanna Be Free"—Davy's eyes meet Vanessa's and they fall in love, fantasizing about fun in the Kiddieland amusement park. The Monkees are hired, but Vanessa becomes so involved with Davy that she neglects her schoolwork and flunks history. At the beach, Jill Gunther, Rudy's 16 year-old daughter and Vanessa's friend, explains to the boys that Vanessa will get a makeup final, but they are in danger of losing a job if she flunks it, too—and that her admirations for Davy is the reason for her failure to concentrate on her schoolwork. Feeling responsible, Davy takes leave of the group to sadly take a stroll down the beach, to a much slower tune of "I Wanna Be Free." In a fantasy sequence as lawyers in a board meeting, the boys select Davy to help Vanessa pass her final. Having disguised themselves as deliverymen, The Monkees smuggle Vanessa out of the house and improvise a unique history course in which they dramatize historical events in music, resulting in her passing a makeup exam. However, Mr. Russell still orders The Monkees to be barred from the dance and a guard chases them away, while Sven Helstrom and his Swedish Rhythm Kings perform. When Russell learns The Monkees helped Vanessa pass her history test, he leads a wild but successful chase from the front lawn to the game room to get them back. When the guard finally corners the boys in the ballroom, Mr. Russell tells him they are invited. The guard bellows, "You've sold out, sir! Your country club, and yourself!!!" and storms off. Mike gets the Swedish Rhythm Kings off the bandstand by announcing that "Norway has just declared war on Sweden, and all the Swedish nationals are to report to their embassy." The Kings, patriotic beings they are, march off, and The Monkees get the joint jumping with "Let's Dance On." During the number, the partygoers are joined by a drunk from the bar, Dr. Turner and the old lady, and the TV Interviewer, who tries in vain to conduct a "Man-In-The-Ballroom" interview. From the bandstand, Davy sees another girl, and again sparks fly. Afraid that Davy's new passion may cost them their first job, Micky, Mike and Peter, brandishing balloons as weapons, madly dash after Davy. |
b: 14-Nov-1966 pc: 4091 w: Larry Tucker and Paul Mazursky d: Mike Elliot |
NOTE: Features the songs: "I Wanna Be Free" and "Let's Dance On." This was the pilot for the series. |
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| 11. Monkees a'La Carte |
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While The Monkees are eating a footlong at Pop's Restaurant, Fuselli, a gang boss, and Rocco, his torpedo, take over the place and fire them. At a meeting, Michael, Micky, Peter and David determine to get the restaurant back for Pop. They apply for jobs as musicians, but Fuselli instead sets them to work at everything from waiting on tables to cooking spaghetti and acting as hatcheck girls. Having no experience whatsoever in any of them, the boys wreck the entire soup kitchen in a hilarious musical sequence set to "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone." They approach a police inspector who agrees to help them and mentions that the only syndicate members captured so far are all four members of The Purple Flower Gang. But all of The Monkees' attempts to link Fuselli to the syndicate miserably fail, from fingerprinting, to recording a conversation by telephone, to attatching explosives to a safe in his office. Fuselli plans to entertain his friends, all members of the syndicate and orders The Monkees to wait on tables. At the dinner, the members of the syndicate have never seen each other before, for self-protection reasons, and they introduce themselves: Red O'Leary, (bank robbery-protection), Big Flora (fraud-extortion), Paddy The Fix (drugs-diamond smuggling) and Benny The Book (bookmaking-numbers). The Monkees see this as an opportunity to employ a little quick-change magic, and they pose as The Purple Flower Gang. When Flora inquires about their wearing white carnations, Micky replies, "Y'know how tough it is t'get poiple flowahs, baby?!" Micky, Michael and David stay at the dinner, while Peter overcomes Rocco the torpedo to escape to Police HQ, where, since he is dressed as a member of the PFG, the inspector holds him for questioning. Fuselli starts divvying up the crime operations of the city among the mobsters, while Micky, Michael and David repeatedly quick-change from gangster to waiter to gangster to accommodate his guests. As the end of the meeting, Michael and David intervene and complain about the split being unfair, and, with black paint, divvies up different crime operations to the mob in a tic-tac-toe pattern, while Micky whispers in each mobster's ear about suspicions of a double-cross. The dispute that ensues erupts violently into a gunfight. When the fusillade begins Micky, Michael and David hide under the table; Micky stops the deadly slaughter long enough to allow a pretty girl enter, smile, and exit. (Hiding under the table, Michael continues to defeat David as they continue playing tic-tac-toe---until David finally wins.) Despite Micky's efforts to temper them, the entire syndicate knocks off each other; Fuselli himself is also killed when Benny The Book raises his slumped head long enough to shoot him ("You d-d-d-dirty rat!"). Peter arrives with the police who arrests the other Monkees, thinking they are Purple Flower Gangsters and they are responsible for the lifeless mobsters strewn all over the room; a romp set to a reprise of "Steppin' Stone" concludes with the boys moaningly pacing in their cell. When Pop returns, the boys end with a musical number: "She." |
b: 21-Nov-1966 w: Gerald Gardner & Dee Caruso and Bernie Orenstein d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" and "She." |
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| 12. I've Got a Little Song Here |
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Impressed by a letter from Bernie Class assuring him that he can get rich writing hit songs, Mike writes a song, "Gonna Buy Me a Dog" (actually a Boyce-Hart tune!) and submits it to the High Class Music Publishing Company (which also does Greeting Cards, Storm Windows, Reconditioned Vacuum Cleaners, Magazine Subscriptions, and Door Lettering!). Once there, he greets another aspiring songwriter: a little old man. When Bernie (who is terribly in adept at pronouncing Mike's last name) accepts Mike's song and tells him he'll sell the song to Joanie Janz, the greatest singer in show business, Mike calls Micky, his mother, and Mr. (Tim?) Conway, whom he met on a bus five years ago. At home, The Monkees imagine a sequence set to "Gonna Buy Me a Dog" featuring them traipsing all over the lawn with - what else? - dogs. Having pawned his guitar for $99.95, Mike pays the amount for legal fees and incidentals, but asks Bernie to prove he'll sell the song to Joanie Janz; Bernie personally phones Janz, but pretends to do so in order to dupe Mike, as he inadvertently dials the number of Harry and Hilda, an elderly couple. Sure he's on his way to fame and fortune, Mike calls his mates, but Micky tells Davy and Peter that he may be the victim of a con man, and they change into the super heroic Monkeemen. Posing as piano tuners, the boys spy on Bernie speaking into a Dictaphone telling to put a letter he wrote to Mike "praising" his song into mimeo and have 500 copies printed. This convinces them that he is a swindler, and attempts to warn him. Mike takes his song to the soundstage where Joanie is making The Wolf Girl Meets The Vampire in the Old West, but becomes dejected when Joanie tells him she never heard of him or his song! At the pad, Mike, oblivious to such a rejection but refusing to believe he was conned, sadly sits on his bed, resisting every attempt his mates make to cheer him up. Then Micky phones Bernie and summons him to Mammoth Studios; there, Micky, Davy and Peter park The Monkeemobile in Dean Martin's spot and brashly proceed to take things over. Bernie finds the producer and his camera personnel fawning over Micky - who has dubbed himself movie mogul "M.D." - and his pals. "M.D." tells Bernie he wants, for his "new movie" starring Joanie Janz (and Gregory Peck, Elizabeth Taylor, Doris Day and Sonny Tufts!), a song whose title must include a dog, because Joanie portrays the part of an animal lover. Bernie suggests Mike's tune, "Gonna Buy Me A Dog," and, within 8 minutes, he gets him over to the studio, but Mike asks for $200 in order to place the song under exclusive contract. Bernie only produces $199, but Mike takes it anyway, and the four Monkees laugh at having turned the tables on the swindler. A song sequence set to "Mary, Mary" ensues, with the boys gallivanting around a soundstage. Mike decides to share the $199 with his fellow victim, the old man, and prepares to leave, with Micky and Davy, when they find Peter missing. They look up in the sky and discover Peter, garbed in super heroic Monkeeman gear, flying through the air. |
b: 28-Nov-1966 pc: 4707 w: Treva Silverman d: Bruce Kessler |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Mary, Mary" and "Gonna Buy Me a Dog." |
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| 13. One Man Shy (a.k.a. Peter and the Debutante) |
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Snobbish Ronnie Farnsworth disapproves when debutante Valerie Cartwright hires The Monkees to play at her coming-out party. Peter falls in love with Valerie, but, unable to express his feelings, steals her portrait. In a reworking of Cyrano De Bergerac, Micky, Mike and Davy scream affectionate phrases which Peter lip-synchs to Valerie up above in her balcony—eventually winding up with Peter being slugged by the groundskeeper. Ronnie finds the portrait at The Monkees pad and tries to contact the authorities; "You do, and I'll be sorry!" screams Micky in retort. Although Val foils Ron's attempts to give them up, The Monkees decide they must put Ron in his place before he gets them. Soooooooo, Davy, Mike and Micky, donning disguises as a waiter, a park man, and a toy salesman, respectively, appear wherever Ron and Val are together, each time trying to prove what a rotter Ron is. Seeing through their plot, Ron repeats the procedure on Davy, Mike and Micky by outshining them in skeet shooting, archery, and badminton, respectively, to show Val how low class the boys are. Annoyed by his actions, Val asks Pete to be her escort at her coming-out party, but Pete, overcome by shyness, tries to bow out. Micky, Mike and Davy give him lessons on how to act with Valerie, singing "I'm A Believer." The Monkees, accompanied by a lady, play "spin-the-bottle," but Peter always loses, since the bottle always points to Davy. Later, at the party, Micky coerces Peter in discussing, music, books and politics, but his attempts to converse with Val fail so badly that Micky, Davy, and Mike decide to give him a hand. Respectively incognito as a stockbroker, a private tailor, and a yacht captain, the three try to convince Val that Peter is really a shy tycoon. When Ron defeats this ploy, Val tells Peter he's a fine person just being himself. As The Monkees perform "You Just May Be the One," Peter, with newfound confidence, beats Ronnie in every type of competition he proposes to win Valerie's favor. In the end, Peter winds up finally winning "spin-the-bottle," and is in turn smooched by four girls. |
b: 05-Dec-1966 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso and Treva Silverman d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "You May Just be the One" and "I'm a Believer." An August 14, 1967 repeat of "One Man Shy" featured "Forget That Girl" in lieu of "I'm a Believer." |
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| 14. Dance, Monkees, Dance |
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When a correct answer to a really tough trivia question ("Who was the 8th President of The United States of America?") wins Peter a free dancing lesson (valued @ $12.98 [?!]) at the Renaldo's Dance Au Go Go school, the boss, Renaldo, and his shapely aide, Miss Buntwell, trick him into signing a lifetime contract. Davy, Micky and Mike are concerned about Peter's dancing his way to the poorhouse; when Peter declares his tearing up the contract won't get him convicted in any court, they all take part in a hilarious fictitious courtroom scene. Davy, Micky and Mike don robes and wigs as the defense attorney, the prosecutor, and the judge, respectively; and Peter is grilled ruthlessly by prosecutor Micky, hit over the head by Judge Mike's gavel, and eventually found guilty! Returned to reality, Micky (incognito as Peter's solicitor who claims Peter has "ballpointitis," a need to sign long-term contracts!) and Mike try to break Peter's contract but are instead tricked into signing similar contracts. Deciding they need help from the inside, Davy, with the most dancing experience, gets a job as a dance instructor at Renaldo's and proceeds to teach his friends every type of dance from The Charleston to The Hula, singing "I'll Be Back Up On My Feet." Deciding on drastic action to break out of Renaldo's contract, Micky walks off the Monkee pad set into a roomful of Chinese writers and asks them for an idea for the show. They present him with one, which he takes back to the set, crumples up and discards ("Man, this is a terrible idea! Those guys are really overpaid!"). Davy instead notices an ad guaranteeing love and adventure at the studio. The next day, an army of older women invades the place. Micky and Peter, incognito in several disguises, show exactly the opposite of the intentions explained in Davy's pep talk while Mike keeps Miss Buntwell occupied with his maniacal admirations for her, but Renaldo defeats both ploys. Then Miss Buntwell prepares The Dancing Smoothies, four oily looking characters. The Monkees pull out snub-nosed pistols, mugging The Smoothies and don their colorful tuxedoes. Soon The Monkees, Renaldo, The Smoothies, the ladies, a dog, and Miss Buntwell engage in a wild promenade to the tune of "I'm A Believer," which ends with Renaldo and The Smoothies wrapped in their own banner. When The Monkees appear the next morning, Renaldo is only too happy to tear up their contracts and save his studio. |
b: 12-Dec-1966 w: Bernie Orenstein d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "I'm a Believer" and "I'll Get Back up on My Feet." |
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| 15. Too Many Girls (a.k.a. Davy and Fern) |
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The Monkees are in their pad rehearsing "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone", but David's girl-induced, catatonic trance continuously disrupts them. He vows no more girls, but everywhere they look, there are more girls staring longingly at him: one holding Michael's guitar, one hiding in their fridge, and another standing on a chair. Micky, Michael and Peter shoo them out, but David finds himself in a harem-like state surrounded by the same girls. The Monkees travel by Monkeemobile and see Mrs. Badderly, a gypsy tea room owner, who decides that David is the key to her daughter Fern's success in show business. Mrs. Badderly makes two predictions about Michael about to have a flat tire and Peter's coming down with a 24-hour virus, and Fern Badderly, with the able use of some pepper and a nail, makes them come true. Then, Badderly predicts David will fall in love within 24 hours and leave his friends. When The Monkees leave, Michael sees The Monkeemobile's right front tire is flat and Peter starts a sneezing fit. The con jobs convince them and, believing her third forecast, dump David in The Monkeemobile, repair its tire, and immediately rush him to their pad, where they imprison him and are determined that he will not meet any girls for one day! All of Fern Badderly's attempts to break in, wearing different disguises, fail, and the boys manacle David to a chair in front of a TV. Then David, while watching the Screen Gems western Iron Horse (ABC, 1966E8) in his mates' absence, gets a bid to judge a beauty pageant and escapes, still shackled to his chair. When the other Monkees find David missing, they find the invitation he left behind. Peter wonders, "How far can he get dragging a chair?" The three suddenly race after him; at one point they think they've found David, but it's another young man (David Price!) dragging a chair chained to his foot! Sure enough, David and his chair both reach their destination, and he discovers that not only is Fern Badderly the only contestant, the pageant is held in Mrs. Badderly's tea room. Thinking he's in love, he agrees to appear with Fern as her partner on a TV amateur hour. Micky, Michael and Peter recieve a telephone reminder by Mr. Hack and learn that Fern is, in actuality, Mrs. Badderly's daughter. They also realize that if David wins their act will break up, and they think of something drastic to make him lose. On the show, Peter appears as The Astonishing Pietro, an inept magician whose act culminates in him crying over spilled milk (literally!), Michael, as Billy Roy Hodstetter, a corny folk singer who sings a hackneyed speedy rendition of "Different Drum," and Micky, Locksley Mendoza, an even cornier and more inept comic-mimic whose celebrity impersonations are all the same: James Cagney. Then they give David a squirt of breath spray laced with a formula to make his voice crack, fill his jacket with rocks and give him a rubber cane. Fern cries as her act with David gets fouled up, and David finally realizes he has been tricked into leaving his mates. The host, Mr. Hack then throws to his sponsor, but The Monkees are quick to correct him: "His sponsor? No, our sponsor!" When we return, Mr. Hack does a commercial for the amateur hour's sponsor, a product named "SDRAWKCAB," a vitamin supplement which contains aluminum ("A little iron is fine, but remember: iron can rust! Remember, SDRAWKCAB spelled backwards is 'backwards'!")! The final entry in the talent show is The Monkees, having successfully foiled Mrs. Badderly's scheme, who join in a numberE#034;I'm A Believer"—but Hack declares Fern and David the winners! |
b: 19-Dec-1966 w: Dave Evans and Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso s: Dave Evans d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" and "I'm a Believer," and a clip from rival show Iron Horse, which aired on ABC directly opposite The Monkees! |
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| 16. The Son of a Gypsy |
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Maria, a gypsy, her Grumchek sons, Marco, Kiko, Zeppo and Rocco, and The Monkees audition to play at a party at Madame Rantha's mansion. The gypsies are furious when The Monkees are chosen over them, since they hoped to steal Rantha's Maltese Vulture, a jewel-encrusted statuette. Maria tells The Monkees that there are no hard feelings and invites them to their gypsy camp. There, The Monkees deck out in gypsy clothing, Marco gives each Monkee a good luck charm, and the boys are initiated into the camp. Rocco shows Micky the fine arts of predicting the future via tealeaves, Marco shows Davy how to fight with a switchblade, Kiko teaches Peter a lesson in gypsy dancing and Zeppo instructs Mike on phrenology (i.e., the reading of bumps on one's head), and before they are finished, Micky drinks a mug of tea spiked with a potion which renders him unconscious, Davy is used as a knife throwing target, Peter is wrapped up in lace, and Mike is knocked cold. Finally bound hand and foot and threatened with torture by fire, The Monkees consent to steal The Vulture for Maria. Holding Peter hostage, Maria threatens to kill him should The Monkees fail to deliver The Vulture by midnight. Marco, who has a good ear for robberies, takes Peter's place and drags Micky, Mike and Davy to the party. At the party, Micky, Mike and Davy unsuccessfully try to alert Mme. Rantha, a guest, and the police. Marco tells them to dispose of the two guards outside the bedroom in which The Vulture is hidden; suddenly realizing Peter's life is at stake, the boys swing into action. While Micky and Mike create a diversion for the guards (failing with a phony robbery, a phony attack, and a phony arson threat but finally succeeding as litterbugs!), Davy sneaks inside the bedroom, but although he uses an arsenal of tools, he can't crack the safe. Then, Madame Rantha, along with a guest and Mike and Micky, disguised as party dilettantes, enters the room, opens the safe which was unlocked all along, and shows them the jewel-encrusted Maltese Vulture. Suddenly, midnight arrives! Davy snatches The Vulture from Madame Rantha and throws it out the window into Peter's hands, thus saving him from being slashed to death by Maria and her Gromcheks - but Mama Maria accuses Davy and Peter for masterminding the theft. Grateful, Madame Rantha thanks Maria and tells her to take anything she wants, and she does: The Vulture! A mad musical chase set to "I'm A Believer" ensues before The Monkees round up The Gypsies in a mock football game. After The Maltese Vulture is returned to Mme. Rantha, The Gypsies vow to reform, but leave with Mike's and Davy's watches, Micky's wallet, and Peter! |
b: 26-Dec-1966 pc: 4724 w: Treva Silverman and Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso s: Treva Silverman d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Let's Dance On," "Last Train to Clarksville" and "I'm a Believer." |
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| 17. The Case of the Missing Monkee |
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At a French restaurant, The Monkees play at a testimonial dinner for Professor Milo Schnitzler, a nuclear scientist, who delivers a speech. The guest of honor hands Peter a note saying that he is being taken to The Remington Clinic, a rest home. After giving the note to Mike, Peter is knocked unconscious, and is dragged off, too. Worried about Peter's disappearance, Mike takes out the note that Peter gave to him. The Monkees set out for The Remington Clinic, where they ask a nurse of the whereabouts of Peter, but she tells them to go to a policeman. Micky, Mike and Davy take a policeman to the French restaurant where Peter was seen last, but it has been altered to resemble The Orient, with Dr. Marcovich, a master spy, disguised as a Chinese waiter. The boys try to smuggle Davy in, disguised as an accident victim, but fail again, and Davy consumes a cough drop that induces spells of singing and dancing to the tune of "Old Folks at Home (Way Down Upon the Swanee River)." The three climb up a ladder, break inside the hospital, and disguise themselves as patients. Meanwhile at the clinic, Schnitzler has been drugged and Peter tied up. Marcovich tells Bruno, his aide, that they are transporting Schnitzler out of the country. When they leave, Peter, in homage to an old C.C. Beck-created superhero, shouts "Shazam!," but a bolt of lightning shatters a mirror ("Well, another seven years bad luck for Captain Marvel!"). Micky, Mike and Davy are given harsh physical therapy by Bruno, while Peter has a dose of Marcovich's sinister brain drain. Micky, Mike, and Davy abandon all hope until they finally find Peter—who claims he doesn't know them! When they scare Peter to restore his memory, they learn of Schnitzler's predicament and find that Marcovich and Bruno plan to operate on Schnitzler and smuggle him out of the country in an ambulance (overseas?!?!). They force Micky to take Schnitzler's place when they hear Marcovich and Bruno arrive, and, garbed as doctors, Mike, Davy and Peter take over the operation. Outwitted for a time, Marcovich finally discover he is dealing with The Monkees. A mad musical chase set to "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" ends in the physical therapy room, where the boys turn the equipment against the villains. Sure that they should undoubtedly get 20 years from a federal judge, and probably get a good wrist-slapping from the American Medical Association, The Monkees set off in their Monkeemobile. Case closed. |
b: 09-Jan-1967 pc: 4731 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso d: Robert Rafelson |
NOTE: Features the song: "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone." "Pleasant Valley Sunday" replaced "Steppin' Stone" when "The Case of the Missing Monkee" reaired on NBC July 24, 1967. |
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| 18. I Was a Teenage Monster |
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This parody on teenage horror flicks finds The Monkees hired by mad scientist Dr, Mendoza, at a Gothic mansion on Rosebud Lane. In Mendoza's lab, the doctor plans to turn a seven foot monster into the world's greatest rock and roll singer. The Monkees try to leave, but decide to stay and teach the monster the art of rock and roll for $200. That night, Groot, the valet, takes them to their room where they meet the mad doctor's beautiful daughter in a closet (who claims to have nothing to do with this episode, as she is in the sequel). While watching a horror movie about brain transplants, the boys disappear one by one and find themselves strapped to boards in the basement lab. The doctor tells them he plans to transplant their musical prowess into the monster's body, and proceeds with the operation, sparkling the place with electrical vibrations. When it stops, The Monkees find they can't sing, while the monster has all the talent. Mike threatens to go to the police, but Dr. Mendoza touches each Monkee with his stethoscope and erases whatever memory they have of what has taken place, and prepares the next phase of his experiment, whether his monster can fool an audience. The next morning, The Monkees find that all of their musical talent has deserted them—and gape in awe as they watch the monster perform, with their voices, a brief snippet of "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day" in his world premiere as The Swinging Android. In another room, The Monkees suddenly remember the laboratory where the doctor drained them of their musical talents and made them forget about it. Realizing they must reverse the process, The Monkees prepare to go to work in the lab. The first three attempts produce hilariously futile results: one turns the monster into a super hippie, the second has Mike growling in an unusually deep voice, and the third has the monster executing a fey interior decorator's stint. As if all this aren't bad enough, Micky accidentally knocks over a glass and breaks it, attracting the attention of Mendoza and Groot, who enter. A mad fight ensues for control of the monster, which Peter finally wins, and everyone madly capers about to the tune of "Your Auntie Grizelda." After the doctor and Groot are tied up for the police, The Monkees feel they have their musical ability again, but when they start strumming their guitars, their fingers cut through the strings, shattering the amplifiers. |
b: 16-Jan-1967 w: Dave Evans and Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso s: Dave Evans d: Sidney Miller |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Tomorrow's Gonna Be Another Day" and "Your Auntie Grizelda." |
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| 19. Find the Monkees (a.k.a. The Audition) |
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Every local group in the neighborhood—The Four Martians, The Foreign Agents, and The Jolly Green Giants—drop in on The Monkees beach pad to tell them the great news: they have been invited to a TV audition by Hubbell Benson, a TV producer. Sad because Benson hasn't asked them to audition, the boys decide to send him a recording, but Micky has left the tape in a rented recorder. Benson's secretary, Irene Chomsky, accidentally rents the very same machine, and when Benson hears the tape of The Monkees singing "Mary, Mary," he wants to hire them but doesn't know who or where they are! The Monkees go to Benson's office at KNBC-TV studios, but Peter gets the hiccups. Davy and Micky's attempts to cure him result in his contracting seasickness and hay fever. By the time Peter is cured, Benson has left for the Missing Persons bureau, where its secretary gets a hassle searching for a pencil. The Monkees decide to go right up to Benson's office and see him personally, but Peter suffers a hiccup relapse; this time, the others' attempt to cure Peter's hiccups by scaring them out of him only makes him worse than before! Newsmen check the story and Benson sees a great publicity gimmick, while The Monkees, with their song "Sweet Young Thing," try but fail to audition for Benson over the phone. (Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent gets stuck in the phone booth after The Monkees and reemerges as Superman!) Reporters feature Benson's search for the mystery group in the morning paper, which the boys read. Unaware that Benson is looking for them, The Monkees engage in a romp set to "Papa Jean's Blues" as they pop up wherever Benson goes, and, in various disguises (as a Salvation Army band, a marching band, a Country and Western group and a gypsy group), hound him with gypsy, hillbilly, parade and calypso numbers, but are avoided at every turn. Back at the office, Benson, tired of looking for the mystery group, gives up and decides to audition the groups to whom they sent invitations: The Martians, The Agents, and The Giants ("Maybe they're something! Baby!"). They arrive, and when Chomsky plays The Monkees' tape again, they are finally identified by one of The Giants. Benson, Chomsky, and all three bands head for The Monkees pad. So impressed is Benson by the boys' impromptu rendition of "Sweet Young Thing," he proceeds to sign them up, but he hears his secretary sing and decides to star her instead. During a quiet drive in their Monkeemobile, the boys try to hide their disappointment, but Peter's so blue he wants to go to the South Seas! He disappears when he learns from Mike that TV stars can make $5000 a week, and the other Monkees go to the Missing Persons Bureau, in hopes of finding him. |
b: 23-Jan-1967 pc: 4721 w: Dave Evans d: Richard Nunis |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Papa Gene's Blues," "Sweet Young Thing," and "Mary, Mary." An alternate print of this episode features The Monkees performing "I'm a Believer" (from Episode No. 15, "Too Many Girls") replacing the interview segment. |
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| 20. The Monkees in the Ring |
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The fight game gets its lumps in this episode. Walking down the street, Davy chides Peter about his leaving a trail of pistachio nuts across the city ("Y'know, if you committed a crime, the police'd find you in 2 minutes!"). Peter apologizes and goes back to pick up the litter of nuts, when suddenly he bumps into a bully. The bully makes ready to slug Peter when Davy intervenes and accidentally subdues him with a light tap on the chin. Joey Sholto, a fight racketeer, bears witness and tells Davy he can become a world champ. Davy's mates feel they'd rather see him alive and well than rich and famous, but Davy goes along with Sholto, and adopts the sobriquet "Dynamite Davy Jones." Joey tells Vernon, an ex-boxing champ turned hood that he'll arrange a series of setups for Davy; when he fights the champion, they'll bet against Davy and make a killing when he loses. In a romp set to "Laugh," Davy is put through a rough training regimen and goes on a boxing tour—where every bout he competes in is thrown by men set up by Sholto. During a press conference, Mike learns of Sholto's scheme as he receives a phone call by The Smasher, one of Sholto's men, in a money dispute. He tries to warn Davy, but he refuses to believe the fights were fixed, impressed by his easy victories. Having seen a futile plan by Micky, Mike and Peter to convince the champ not to fight Davy, Vernon rushes to inform Sholto, who, to insure the champ's victory, instructs Vernon to slip Davy a sleeping pill before the fight and make sure Davy's friends don't get out of their pad. By mistake, the champ gets the pill; meanwhile, at the pad, Micky, Mike and Peter, about to go to the arena to stop the fight, are stopped at gunpoint by Vernon and are forced to watch the brutal carnage of their buddy on television. In the ring, the champ is groggy for the first three rounds, but wakes up at the fourth, just as Micky, Mike, and Peter lock Vernon in their closet and rush to the ring to save Davy. Soon, as The Monkees sing "I'll Be Back Up On My Feet Again," three fights are on: Davy and the champ, Sholto and Mike, Micky and Vernon, whilst Peter takes over as timekeeper. With his help, The Monkees win and are declared world champs. When Sholto is arrested for kidnapping, assault, fraud, and attempted bribe, he complains that guys like The Monkees are ruining the fight game. Soon afterward, timekeeping Peter announces the national anthem; Davy raises his right gloved hand to his forehead to salute—so hard that he knocks himself unconscious. |
b: 30-Jan-1967 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Laugh" and "I'll Be Back Up On My Feet." |
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| 21. The Prince and the Paupers |
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A spoof of the Mark Twain novel: "The Prince and the Pauper". When The Monkees audition for an Embassy Ball, Count Myron and his aide Max realize that Davy is a double for Prince Ludlow, 17 year-old heir apparent to the throne. The prince tells Davy that, according to the terms of his nation's constitution, if he is not wed before his 18th birthday, the throne will pass to Count Myron. As they fence, Count Myron and Max are impressed by their scheme to keep Ludlow single by keeping him away from all women and the ones who pay no mind to them will be driven off by the prince's shyness. Myron tells Max he has told Wendy Forsythe, who met Ludlow on the Riviera and took a liking to him, that the prince was a sly, malicious, sadistic pathological liar, in hopes of discouraging her from marrying him. Fortunately, this scheme proves to be a fatal flop, for Wendy comes to see the prince, and is announced by the Courtier, who has a habit of breaking his cane. Too shy to meet her, Ludlow asks Davy to impersonate him; as Wendy and Davy converse, they fall in love. After she leaves, Ludlow asks Davy to impersonate him for a few more days and persuade Wendy to marry him. While Micky and Peter take Ludlow to their beach pad and coach him in the fine art of dating, Mike, suspicious of Count Myron, guards Davy. Max intercepts a letter from Wendy declaring her love for Ludlow, and the Chemist coerces him to poison the tip of his foil when he gives the prince fencing lessons. During the match, Davy drops his foil but chooses the wrong one, and Max flees when he realizes his opponent has the poison-laced weapon. When Davy touches a plant with the foil, it shrivels and Mike and Davy realize Max intends to kill the prince. Davy proposes and wins Wendy, and tells the Count he will marry her that night. Mike arranges by phone for the prince to come to the Embassy for the wedding, unbeknownst to him that Count Myron is seeing through the plot. As Mike prepares Davy for the wedding, The Count greets them—and orders Max to bring in Peter, Micky and the prince. He has Ludlow thrown into the Dungeon and orders The Monkees to leave the Embassy or be killed. At the church, the Count is about to call the ceremony off when Davy appears in Royal finery, along with Mike, whom he coerces to stall the ceremony while Micky and Peter help the prince escape from the dungeon. Mike's nonsensical tirade is interrupted by Ludlow, who suddenly appears and takes Davy's place. While The Monkees—singing "Mary, Mary"—fight off Count Myron and Max, Ludlow marries Wendy and has the two conspirators arrested. Davy bemoans his lost love until he meets a female teen magazine reporter who is Wendy's double. |
b: 06-Feb-1967 pc: 4733 w: Gerald Gardner and Dee Caruso s: Peter Meyerson d: James Komack |
NOTE: Features the song: "Mary, Mary." |
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| 22. The Monkees at the Circus |
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The Monkees invade Pop Arcade's small circus and fool around with its equipment, until Victor, a maniacal knife thrower, sadistically uses Davy as a target and orders the boys to leave. The boys soon learn that Pop's circus is about to fold because he can't pay the performers. Davy falls in love with Susan, Pop's young daughter. He persuades all of the acts to stay, except Victor, who broods that the rock-and-roll discotheques are the major contribution to the circus' downfall, and the boys don't disclose their identity to Susan, presenting themselves as brain surgeons. In a dream sequence, Peter, Micky, Mike and Davy don the guise of, respectively, a ringleader, a lion tamer and his lion, and an acrobat as they take part in a wacky circus scene; after which they overhear Victor declaring that he has persuaded the troupe to sign an ultimatum threatening to quit unless they receive their back pay. The Monkees break in, clad as aerialists. Posing as Amazing, Incredible, Colossal, and Stupendous, The Mutzarella Brothers, the toast of Paris, they announce they are joining the troupe. Impressed, Victor and the others decide to stay on. Susan, aware of The Monkees' deception, reports the evening show is a sell out and wonders how they can amuse the crowd. Having seen the boys, inexperienced as aerialists, botch every part of their high wire routine, she asks Davy for the truth. Overhearing his admission that they are rock-and-roll singers, Victor reports this to the rest of the troupe and they all decide to leave, but change their minds upon seeing The Monkees' clown act, singing "Sometime in the Morning." On the night of the performance, Victor refuses to go on with his knife throwing act, until he hears Davy introducing himself as The Invincible Victor. Horrified by Davy's near-misses as a knife thrower, Victor changes his mind and takes over the ring. Discovering his young friends are The Monkees, Pop insists they do their own act, and the Cool Quartet goes on to delight the crowd with their rendition of "She." While Susan smooches Davy, the troupe, as a token of their appreciation for saving their circus, each give Micky, Mike and Peter one of their equipment. |
b: 13-Feb-1967 w: David Panich d: Bruce Kessler |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Sometime in the Morning" and "She." |
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| 23. Captain Crocodile |
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Appearing on "The Captain Crocodile Show," The Monkees get cream pies in the face and refuse to perform. They decide to take it up with Junior Pinter, the 12 year-old executive in charge, who wants them to appear on "The Captain Crocodile Show" on a regular basis. Having put through a call to his father, the network president (who gave him the show for his birthday!), vacationing in Sidney, Australia, Junior guarantees The Monkees there'll be no more pies in the face and will be given the chance to perform. Having received a memo from Junior, Captain Crocodile fears the competition, and instructs his yes-man, Howard Needleman, to spring into action and make sure The Monkees' second appearance is a disaster. On the show, The Monkees are prevented from singing at every turn by a wavy camera, a fish net, and an explosive-laced bass drum. To worsen matters, when Mike threatens to quit, The Monkees finally get the go-ahead to performE#034;Valleri"—and learn to their dismay that the show had been off the air for the entire five minutes of their performance. Micky, Mike and Davy cheer up a bereaved Peter by engaging in a fantasy sequence parodying every type of TV show from news (The Huntley-Brinkley Report) to quiz (What's My Line, To Tell The Truth), to crime (Batman). The Croc arranges for a deluge of mail panning The Monkees, which prompts a director's meeting called by the president J.J. Pontoon, to discuss The Monkees' future on "The Captain Crocodile Show." Micky, as a rating's expert from the Nielsen Polling Service, Mike, as an elderly building janitor, and Davy and Peter as six year-olds convince the directors that The Monkees are the most popular performers on TV. Crocodile orders his fan club, The Crocodile Corps, to tear the boys apart, setting off a mad chase all over the Screen Gems lot from set to set to the tune of "Your Auntie Grizelda." The chase ends on the "Captain Crocodile" set, where The Monkees gets The Corps to listen to a story, winning them over. When The Captain angrily berates them for ruining his master plan, his own fans turn on him, and the show is changed to "Monkee Menagerie." As they prepare to go on, Howard appears, and, dousing the boys with seltzer, he takes over. |
b: 20-Feb-1967 pc: 4730 w: Gerald Gardner & Dee Caruso and Peter Meyerson & Robert Schlitt s: Peter Meyerson & Robert Schlitt d: James Frawley |
NOTE: Features the songs: "Valleri" and "Your Auntie Grizelda." |
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| 24. Monkees a'La Mode |
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Madame Quagmeyer, editor of Chic Magazine, selects The Monkees as the subjects of the annual Young America issue. The next morning, The Monkees, at home during breakfast, read an issue of Chic which they received in the mail and its adjoining letter which says they've been chosen as The Typical Young Americans Of The Year; not long after, Rob Roy Fingerhead, an aesthetic photographer, and Toby Willis, a young editorial assistant, both sent by Madame Q, arrives. Rob Roy views Davy, Micky, Mike and Peter and their surroundings with extreme distaste; Davy and Micky, with a hatchet and a lantern, respectively, proceed to demonstrate that the pad contains artifacts of great historical significance. The boys, since they believe young people aren't at all typical, don't feel they are right for the magazine article, but Toby persuades them that this is their chance to become famous. At the Chic magazine offices, the boys are greeted by Madame Q and interviewed by three sophisticated college girls EMs. Collins, Ms. Osborne, and Ms. Dilessips Eand then initiated into the world of high fashion by Rob Roy, who considers his job hopeless. In the studio, Peter is prodded to improve his posture, Davy is taught how to properly pose, and Micky is coached in combining colors in the things that people wear. The Monkees go into a musical romp, toying around with stuffed animals, fabric and cameras, and singing |